A friend text to say that she was sorry I am going through such a difficult time, but that I seem to be amazingly strong.  It’s tempting to spout stuff about life teaching me resilience and that hard knocks have toughened me up, but the truth is I am racked with pain and sadness.  I feel like I am stuck somewhere between total despair, some sort of spiritual epiphany and rage so hateful that I could lose control and unleash cruelty on anyone who happens to cross my path. 

All that said, the most serious and foreboding indicator is that I had a peanut butter sandwich and a chocolate biscuit for breakfast.


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